Funny Parrot

 A woman went to a pet shop & immediately 

spotted a large, beautiful parrot..
There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00.

'Why so little,' she asked the pet store owner.

The owner looked at her and said,
'Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to
live in a house of Prostitution
and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff.'

The woman thought about this, but decided
she had to have the bird any way.

She took it home and hung the bird's cage up
in her living room and waited for it to say something.

The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said,
'New house, new madam.'
The woman was a bit shocked at the implication,
but then thought 'that's really not so bad.'

When her 2 teenage daughters returned from school
the bird saw and said,
'New house, new madam, new girls.'

The girls and the woman were a bit offended
but then began to laugh about the situation
considering how and where the parrot had been raised.

Moments later, the woman's husband Keith
came home from work.

The bird looked at him and said,

'' Hi, Keith!


Note: This is taken from an email

Financial Planning !!!!!!!

Dan was a single man living at home with his widowed father 

and working in the family business.

When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune
when his sickly father died, he decided he needed to find a wife
with whom to share his fortune.

One evening, at an investment meeting, he spotted the
most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty
took his breath away.

"I may look like just an ordinary man," he said to her, "but soon,
my father will die and I will inherit $200 million."

Impressed, the woman asked for his business card and
three days later, she became his stepmother.

Women are so much better at financial planning than men.

 Note: This has been taken from an email.